I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
