You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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