Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
