fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
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It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
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You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
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