I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
