Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize