Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
