I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
did you just send me my own nude
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
