I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
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