just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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