you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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