You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
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Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
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I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize