If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i dont even know how to be here
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
