I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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