well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
This can only be settled by a dance off.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
