I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Randomize
