Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
