Already got asked if we're dating
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
