What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
im about as happy as oj after his trial
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
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