A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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