just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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