look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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