HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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