even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
