what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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