This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
