Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Randomize
