Pappa wants mamma naked
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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