he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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