for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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