your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize