he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize