Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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