i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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