I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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