that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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