I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
