Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
