how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
