$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
