best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
