There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
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