Umm I'm too high to move.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
