at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
