omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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