K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
