I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
