his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
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It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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