also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
