its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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