i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
