He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
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i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
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After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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