are you still at the devil's house?
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
