He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
now i know why i became what i already was.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
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