We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
