forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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