Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
