Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
It was like getting head from an anaconda
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
