Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
