i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
My vagina just clenched in fear
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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