Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
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